Bend me, shape me*
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The right-hand edge of the picture, more or less in line with the centre of the wheel, is where the motorised gate hit the Citroen C4 Picasso. (Quickpic)
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I can’t begin to imagine how it must feel to stall on the tracks at a level crossing… and then you notice a speeding train bearing down on you. Mind you, I’ve just experienced an OMG moment that seemed – at the time – to come close.
Reversing out of the driveway in the early morning, I’d allowed myself to become distracted by the need to monitor the cats, the traffic, misted-up windows, rain, punching the remote control… the usual stuff. The rat-runners darting past with an irritated can’t-you-see-I’m-late parp, persuaded me to hook first and edge forward.
Then I remembered: the remote. The gate. Oh yes, the gate: perhaps a couple of hundred kg of white epoxy-coated square-section tubing, at that moment about to make violent contact with the left front fender. The left front fender of the Citroen C4 Picasso (to give it its full name) road test vehicle I had on loan.
I watched in what I believe is called horrified fascination, as the gate drove into the car with all the force that a Centurion D3 motor could muster. It kept going. The bodywork bulged. And then, mercifully, the gate shuddered to a halt. My trembling thumb found the remote button and pressed. The gate reversed direction.
To those who may be aware of my unfortunate track record with vehicles and cats in the driveway, let it be known that I tiptoed back in with the delicacy of a high-wire artist. (My cat score, by the way, stands at two impacts, zero fatalities, with injuries to family pets significantly outweighed by the catastrophic damage to my bank account.)
Here’s the amazing thing. When I got out to inspect the damage, I couldn’t find any. Not a mark. Like many other cars of its kind, the Picasso has plastic wings that simply deform under impact – mild impact – and spring back into shape.
This tells me two things: 1. They don’t build cars like they used to. This is a good thing. 2. Gate motors will actually stop running once they encounter an obstruction, which I am sure you are aware could be something small and furry, or something small and related by blood to you. This is a good thing.
Actually, there’s a third thing: people, relax.
*… any way you want me… from the song written by Scott English and Larry Weiss, first recorded by The Outsiders but made famous by The American Breed in 1967.
