| Our family (Buzz, wife, daughter) recently lost its 11th cellphone to a scumbag thief who will, if there is any justice at all, burn in hell for all eternity. I would have loved to speed his departure to this mythical hot spot by equipping the cellphone with the aforesaid deterrent system. A little extreme? Not really. I might have taken a softer approach after the first, second or even the third theft, but by the time Incident Number 8 came up, I was suffering from a seriously impaired civil rights conscience. By Incident Number 11, I was apoplectic with rage and ready to go the vigilante route.
In our endemically dishonest society, anyone who leaves a cellphone unattended, or can be distracted for long enough to slip the phone from a handbag or briefcase, is regarded as fair game. Our phones are stolen by muggers, opportunistic crooks and occasionally even by friends or work colleagues. And I’m sick of it. An otherwise alert daughter has had three cellphones stolen from her handbag while visiting clubs in Cape Town’s Somerset Road. (Note to habitués of The Bronx and Crew Bar: if someone in the loo admires your lipstick or wants a closer look at that cool bracelet, please be aware that it’s only a distraction: they’re really after your cellphone.)
Each time a cellphone is stolen, you lose a valuable list of contact numbers, images from your gallery pass into the hands of (dodgy) strangers, and all kinds of personal information lands in the hands of someone who clearly has no scruples. Then you have to replace the phone (often getting an inferior model), buy a replacement SIM card, blacklist the stolen phone… it’s a mess, and an expensive one.
I would welcome your strategies for combating cellphone theft – the more extreme, the better. And for the record, I think thumbscrews and Iron Maidens are not as bad as people make out.
Yours in adversity
Buzz |
Reader comments: (27)
•PPL SuCK
My phone was stolen today from my secure complex. By my nextdoor neighbour and his girlfriend. I left it downstairs by accident and they nicked it. I comfronted them and they denied it. Later I hear them discussing stealing it. I would love to send them both to jail.
posted by: Taryn on 2010/05/06
•Ethics and Morals
We need to teach Kids that stealing is wrong plain and simple no matter the cause. Working hard and earning something has leaves one with a much better feeling than Stealing someone else's. (If blowing up the thief makes you feel better, take a few minutes, only vividly imagine doing it and savour the moment)
posted by: Ethical on 2010/02/19
•Thanks, Chad
You sound like a real charmer, although your addition skills are a little dodgy. I get three people...
posted by: Buzz on 2010/02/15
•Enough is enough
My boyfriend got mugged at knife point in his car in the middle of the day while stuck in traffic on thursday. The sickening part is that we are absolutely powerless to protect ourselves. This is WRONG. Other countries don't have this constant fear and clutching to handbags and cellphones! Something must be done and the government is definately NOT going to do anything about it, because why should they worry? They can't be mugged in their R 8 million bulletproof cars!! Blow them up if that's what it takes! All is fair in love and war!
posted by: Surita on 2010/02/14
•A touch unbeliveable
I rate your daughter is pawning them off for drugs. 11 Cells from 4 people. Either that or your whole family is just plain dumb
posted by: Chad on 2010/02/13
•Thanks for the tip, Steph
I found and bought the Guardian system for 25 dollars. Will report back on my experience asap.
posted by: Josh on 2010/02/11
•Be prepared
There are a bunch of programs you can install on phones to either track it after it is stolen (even if the SIM card is changed), or erase everything and lock it down to be useless. One was mentioned earlier, but I use WIMP (Where Is My Phone). Even if the phone has no GPS, it can use triangulation to get a reasonable fix every time you send a specially formatted SMS, it replies secretly with its location. If the thief replaces the SIM, it send the new phone number to you via a secret SMS. Once you are nearby, simply call that number and see who answers, then cuff him. I carry seriously thick cable-ties around for cuffing perps. They are easy to fit inside a belt or in a hem.
posted by: Gatvolkaapenaar on 2010/02/10
•Glue
How about Superglue, the glue must attach the users hand and ear to the phone, he can then live like that until he can stand enough pain to pull himself loose from the phone
posted by: gatvol on 2010/02/10
•Trace my phone
Like other posters I've had an uninsured cellphone stolen. My service provider and the SAPS are not interested in finding it. I have all the details including the IMEI number. I would dearly love to get it back. If anyone does know how it might be traced please let me know.
posted by: Nigel on 2010/02/10
•relocate
You guys obviously all live in Gauteng. I live in East London, Eastern Cape, and (touch wood) have never had a phone stolen in the 12 years that I have had one.Neither do I personally know anyone (or their friends) who has been hijacked. You people need to get out of the big city and relocate to somewhere where the people are more chilled.
posted by: User on 2010/02/10
•Wrong target?
These thieves are stealing to sell, so you will likely not be decapitating the thief, but the buyer. Whether the buyer is then an innocent victim is a debate of its own...On the other hand, in my immediate family I'm only aware of 1 phone, which could have been stolen or just lost, so maybe there is some validity to being careful with your property - 1 phone vs 5 or 11 sounds like there is a lot more than just luck involved.
posted by: Mark on 2010/02/10
•Trace your phone
BB, there is software called Gaurdian that will locate (with GPS to within 5m)your phone if you send a SMS to it. It will also SMS you the number of any new simcard inserted into the phone to a predetenmined number. You can lock down, erase or download data from your stolen phone. If nothing else, you will get some satisfaction from it!!
posted by: Steph on 2010/02/10
•Good business
Stolen phones are good business for the manufacturer/supplier income as well as the VAT in all insurance claims and replacements is good cash for the Gov. Crime does pay and we are sponsoring it.I would love to see some thief getting his/her head Semtexed. I don’t want my TAX to sponsor another criminal free food and accommodation in some human rights protected jail.
posted by: Who cares on 2010/02/10
•Chop off their hands
I am not a fan of Sharia Law, but i think we should adopt their approach to "petty" crime. Chop the bastards' ears or hands off...Same approach shld be followed for thieving politicians.
posted by: Senorneek on 2010/02/10
•Re: Rather go the tech route
That is entirely correct, that is exactly what they do in europe, however the technology in south africa is not quite ready for that application.....but its coming...
posted by: JBK on 2010/02/10
•Technology does exist
They CAN trace your phone on the IMEI number but they don't do it anymore - the question is : WHY NOT ?
posted by: Derick on 2010/02/10
•GO FOR IT!!!!
Being in a hi-jacking June 2009....go for it in the most extreme way!! The word HATE is too soft to describe my anger. May the bastards rot in HELL!!!
posted by: Elize on 2010/02/10
•Re WAKE-Up
So in other words Brian, you're saying that we should not use our hard won property because someone might see it and steal it? Thats no way to live, and I refuse to adjust my lifestyle because a criminal might see something. Theres enough evidence that criminals break in to see whats available to steal, or grab bags to see if theres anything in it. In other words it doesnt matter how "careful" you are. Criminals need to be deterred. If it take Semtex in a couple of phones to do it, so be it!
posted by: PJ on 2010/02/10
•Rather go the tech route
I've read somewhere about a SA guy who is working on technology that would allow you to track your stolen phone even after the SIM card has been swopped, even giving you a chance to listen in on a thief's conversation. Does anyone know about this?
posted by: BB on 2010/02/10
•How about something more humane?
You know, like a nuke. Our family's tally is 5 and counting, and like you, I am ready to commit murder most foul.
posted by: Mike on 2010/02/10
•Spikes
What about spring-loaded spikes with barbs? Then the idiot can;t even get rid of it! Or - since there is already a battery - a stun-gun type solution. But I still like spikes and barbs more!
posted by: Stan on 2010/02/09
•Sweet Revenge
Some years back we had regular thefts out of our cars at around the 24th - 28th of each month. I loaded aluminium pipe with match sticks head shavings and a 9 volt cappy. The theory was that when the thief turned on the radio the capacitor spark ignited the match head saving. It must have worked either that OR when the A hole took a look inside he found a mini bomb.
posted by: Anon on 2010/02/09
•a little lower
Preferably the explosion should occur when the device is positioned a little lower. Like a pants pocket.With a sideways-directed blast.Other options:- A signal sent to the phone would trigger a default ringtone, highest volume, screaming "THIS IS A STOLEN PHONE"- Signal sent to phone activates phone lock to allow only one number to be called - the nearest police station (or Hells Angels hangout if you're really cruel)
posted by: Ryan on 2010/02/09
•Off with their Heads 2
Had the same idea a while back....vote you for President...maybe we can blow up a few other things too.
posted by: Herb on 2010/02/09
•fry it!!
I recently heard of this PC chip that had a blob of acid built into it, when the right signal was sent to it the chip heated up melting the container the acid was in allowing it to dissolve the chip, along with whatever circuit board it was attached to.. so just send an sms to your phone with your secret code and poof the crooks are stuck with a shiny looking piece of plastic!! why this hasnt been implimented i'll never know but i want it in all my electronic goods!!
posted by: Sebastian on 2010/02/09
•Off with Their Heads
I agree with you entirely. We cannot depend on the police to not only protect us ....But even to do their jobs that they have been trained to do. These people are only out to exploit situations and even make themselves guilty of committing crime.
posted by: Para on 2010/02/09
•WAKE-UP!
You are living in South Africa, where even security and law enforcement officials have questionable ethics. Theft is also surely more likely to occur when the desired item has been sighted/or used indescriminately!
posted by: Brian on 2010/02/09
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