Space snob – Elite: Dangerous hits ‘Premium Beta 2’

Date:26 June 2014 Author: Rogan Louwrens Tags:, ,


I remember playing the original Elite. Do you remember it? I’m willing to bet handsomely (which is to say, make a small bet in a handsome manner) that you haven’t, because I out-old you all.

A lot of elderly older people say things like this: “These new-fangled graphicmabobs are nothing on the ultimate gaming engine: the IMAGINATION.” I’m here to tell you they’re talking smack.

Playing the original Elite – revolutionary though that game was – is like trying to re-enact a grand interstellar battle with chicken wire and blobs of Play-Doh. Suffice to say that the game sorta required some imagination. And look, I’ve got a veritable GTX Titan Z of an imagination because of all that teenage loneliness.

But honestly, to hell with my imagination. My imagination sucks in comparison to Elite: Dangerous. Now this is what space is supposed to look like. I mean, just cast your eye over the trailer released to announce “Premium Beta 2”.

Literally nothing is happening other than some spaceship-shaped things are floating past some spacestation-shaped things to the sounds of a mildly pleasant classical waltz. But I dare you to deny that you just want to dive your Oculus Rift-clad face straight up into that.

Here’s the sort of thing you can expect from the update, according to the patch notes:

* Three new star systems are available to explore and trade within, Aulin, LHS 3006 and Styx.

* Giant Orbis class starports have been added, which are complex 8 km diameter structures, larger and more luxurious than Coriolis star ports.

* A new space ship type, the Hauler, is the first flyable Zorgon Peterson ship to be added. It’s an entry-level trading ship, to follow on from the Sidewinder. It has four times the cargo capacity of the Eagle, the entry-level combat ship.

You can get in on this right now – if you’ve got around two grand to bounce on that “premium beta”. To be frank the whole idea of paying actual cashmoney for the privilege of play-testing somebody’s game fills me with revulsion.

Thanks but no thanks; I’ll wait for the end-of-year final release.


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